Possibilities: Confessions
by Violet Enigma
Summary: Fenris find himself turning to Leandra for advice on F.Hawke. Part of my "Possibilities" one-shots, which will eventually turn into a linear tale once the muses stop bouncing me all around the story.


A/N: This little snip it could happen anytime in Act 2, I personally think it would happen sometime in the undefined 3 years before the Act truly opens.

Also, I fully intend to bring all my "Possibilities" stories into one long chapter story, I'd prefer is to be a linear tale, not episodic. And currently the muses see fit to bounce me around the tale.

Disclaimer: Dragon Age is owned by Bioware, I just like to play here.

Fenris waited in the shadows of pre-dawn across from the Amell estate, waiting for Hawke to leave. He knew she had plans with Isabela and Aveline to go looking for Isabela's long lost relic along the Wounded Coast. So he waited, knowing he needed to speak to her mother but not wanting Hawke around to hear. Just when he was about to give up, Hawke emerged with a small pack and her staff strapped to her back and took off toward Vigil's Keep for Aveline.

He stayed in the shadows watching her progress up the stairs and as soon as she disappeared from view, he walked over to the front door and knocked. Leandra Hawke opened the door, looking puzzled and when she saw it was Fenris.

"If you're looking for Marian, she just left." Leandra stated, stifling a yawn behind a closed fist.

"I was hoping to speak to you." Fenris confessed.

"I see. Well come in and have something to eat with me, because I'm sure you haven't yet." Leandra stepped back to allow Fenris into the entryway and she closed the door behind him. "Is everything all right?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Are the two of you fighting again?"

"When are we not?" Fenris scoffed.

Leandra glanced over her shoulder and smile. She led the way into the kitchen, where they had a tiny table set up for two. She motioned for Fenris to take one of the seats and proceeded in preparing them both food to break their morning fast. Fenris watched her methodical work, preparing tea, eggs, cutting meat and thick slices of warm bread. He could tell this was a routine for her, and she enjoyed it.

"I never told Marian this, but it was always hard on Carver and me to be without magic, especially Carver." Leandra confessed to Fenris, while she continued to prepare their food.

"What? Why?"

"Well, it was something Malcolm taught the girls to love and respect. Even though Bethany wished she could be normal, she did still enjoy her magic. It was so hard on Carver, especially when they were young being the only child without magic. He wanted to be able to bond with his father, the way his sisters did. It's what gave him the big chip on those now large shoulders, knowing they had something he never could. I suppose that's what made Carver and Marian fight all the time once Malcolm had passed. He wanted to be the one to take charge of the family, unfortunately Malcolm had taught Marian, not Carver."

"But he has the ability with the blade, and now he's with the Gray Wardens."

"True, now he can fight. But Malcolm started teaching the girls as soon as they started showing their gifts. I think Marian was about six, and Bethany seven. Carver didn't begin learning sword play until he was nearly fourteen. By then he was already pretty angry with his sisters."

"What does this have to do with Marian and I?"

"More than you think," Leandra smiled, bringing over the plates of food, followed very quickly by hot tea. "I see more than people give me credit for, where do you think Marian got her observation skill? Not only have I seen the way she looks at you but I see how you look at her too. You try very hard to hide it, because she is a mage. I haven't been privy to all of your past, but I do know that you came from Tevinter, a place ruled by corrupt mages, and you have witnessed many atrocities. Let me ask you, is my daughter corrupt?"

"Not yet."

"Ah, is _that_ one of your worries? In the circle here, you have heard of the Harrowing?"

Fenris nodded, not trusting his voice anymore.

"Well, most Harrowings take place for mages around their eighteenth birthday, sometimes earlier but usually later. Before Marian had even been born, Malcolm had done some traveling in the mountains. When he came back, he brought a small chest with him. I never asked what was in the chest, it was locked and I knew when he was ready he would tell me. Many years later, after Marian turned sixteen, Malcolm brought out the chest and told her and me it was time. I had no idea what he was talking about, but when he opened the chest, blue light filled our little house. Turns out, it was lyrium and the chest was full of it.

"Malcolm wanted Marian to go into the fade. At first I was furious. I knew that Harrowings were dangerous and most mages didn't survive. But with time, I put my fear aside and I had faith in my husband's belief, in our daughter's ability, and the magic he had taught her. The next day the two of them set out with full packs to somewhere close to the wilds. I dreaded watching Malcolm carry his sword away but I knew he had bring it, just in case. It was the longest, most stressful day of my life. I tried to keep busy: playing with the twins, doing chores around our house, and doing a little teaching of my own. Whenever I was outside, I found myself watching the trees in the distance, knowing the direction they had gone. They both came home shortly before dinner, Marian had the biggest smile on her face and Malcolm was beaming.

"I don't think I breathed very well the entire time they were gone," Leandra chuckled to herself. "But when she saw me she gave me a big hug and told me she did it, she had managed to trick and defeat a demon. Remember this is two years before most other mages, and my big girl had come out of the fade unscathed. So knowing that, do you still think she will be easily corrupted?

"She is strong," Fenris whispered at his mostly empty plate.

"Either that or stubborn like her parents," Leandra chuckled. "Take your pick."

Fenris finished his food and he let Leandra do the same. When all that was left was their tea, Leandra leveled her brown eyed gaze on the elf one more time.

"So what are you really afraid of? I know she has feelings for you, and you wouldn't be here if you didn't have them for her."

"Anders," Fenris choked out, he knew not to call him the abomination to Leandra.

"Are you afraid her feelings for Anders are greater than the ones she has for you?"

"It has entered my mind."

"I will admit that Anders fascinates her. You have to remember that she has never met another apostate before him. Sure there was her father and Bethany, but they were family, it's different. I think she feels a connection to him. I won't lie to you about that. I also think once she gets over her slight giddiness over meeting another apostate, she'll realize how much she cares for you. Anders is a bit of a crush. You are the one she cares about. Why do you think she always asks you to go on her little missions? She wants to protect you and be protected by you. I know you protected her in the fade when Isabela turned against her, nearly stabbing her in the back."

"I turned on her too."

"I know and I know you blame her for taking you there. But I think you really blame yourself for that one. You are a strong warrior, who wields a sword almost as heavy as my daughter. You thought yourself above such enticement because you were not a mage. But it was Marian and Anders who helped Feynriel and you could not be there with her."

"Your daughter tells you much."

"Oh it's not always Marian," Leandra laughed. "She can be a little closed lipped when she does things I might find too dangerous or get upset about. Mostly Varric sneaks me pages from his book about my daughter."

Fenris chuckled into his teacup, before finishing the last dregs of tea.

"Did you get enough to eat?"

"Always when you cook, my thanks."

Leandra smiled as she cleared away their dishes and brought them to the sink to be washed.

"Did you need any help?" Fenris asked, getting up from his seat.

"Oh no, I'll do these later, it's just easier to have them next to the sink. Do you feel better about Marian?"

Fenris sat back in his chair and thought about Hawke and his feelings for her. They had their differences sure: she continued to free mages whenever she could and though she claimed to support the templars, he knew she would rather they abolish the circle. But they had their similarities too. They both did not tolerate blood magic, and she hated slavery almost as much as he did. Her eyes still haunted him in his dreams, but now so did her ever present smile.

"I do. I should go, thank you for the food."

"Anytime Fenris and thank you for caring so much for my Marion. You will continue to protect her, won't you?"

Fenris nodded to Leandra and turned to leave the kitchen, almost bumping into Bodahn and Sandal as they came in to break their morning fast.

"Oh master Fenris, I didn't know you were here," Bodahn exclaimed.

"It's alright Bodahn, Fenris was just leaving. He was able to join me for breakfast after Marion left to meet Isabela." Leandra explained as she began to prepare the same morning fare for Bodahn and Sandal.

Fenris headed out of the Amell estate and crossed to the Hightown market, to purchase a few things before heading back to his mansion. He was actually feeling better, but not paying attention. If he had been, he would have noticed the abomination watching him leave the estate, and he would have been worried.


End file.
